For those who are called to the vocation of marriage, the wedding day marks an incredible milestone, one of the most memorable experiences in the life of husband and wife. While the world would give the impression that this one day is the be-all and end-all of events, natural and supernatural wisdom and experience tell us something different.
The wedding day is a highpoint to be sure in the life-long journey of the couple. In one sense it is a culmination of (what we hope would be) a lifetime of preparation, but one that, of course, does not end there; for it is also the beginning – the beginning of something new. With the exchange of vows in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, an ontological change takes place. The man and woman, while still who they are in their individual dignity and uniqueness, now are at the same time, different: they have become one in Christ in an indissoluble bond. They are, in fact, here to help each other get to heaven.
In a recent address to Tribunal of the Roman Rota, Pope Francis pointed out the essential role faith plays in marriage. He noted the tragic influence of society’s “crisis of values”, quoting Blessed Pope Paul VI who in his 1974 address to the Rota noted that modern man is “sometimes wounded by a systematic relativism” resulting in a detrimental inclination toward a variety of worldly phenomenon characteristic of passion and selfishness, where man “replaces, almost without noticing, the rule of moral conscience with the caprice of psychological conscience”. Pope Francis continues, “Effectively, abandoning a perspective of faith gives rise to a false understanding of marriage, and this is not without consequence in the maturation of an individual’s will for marriage.”
It is quite obvious that there is a crisis of marriage today. The number of marriages in the U.S. continues to drop – in fact, studies show a 50% decline in the annual number of marriages from 1970 to 2010. While many things may contribute to this decline, surely the rise in cohabitation and contraception are among the major factors here. Another key factor, one that Pope Francis addresses head on in the aforementioned address, is the role of faith. He says, “Indeed, at the root of the crisis of marriage is often a crisis of knowledge enlightened by faith – that is, knowledge informed by the adhesion to God and His design of love realized in Jesus Christ.”
As we see so often, sound science supports Church teaching. Sociological studies on marriage frequently point to regular church attendance as a key factor in marriage success and family well-being and stability. Certainly this makes sense. People that take their faith seriously are much more positively disposed to hearing and taking to heart the beautiful teachings of the Church on marriage, sexuality, and the blessing of children.
When a husband and wife make room for God in their lives and in their marriage, they see things differently. They live differently. Throughout the lived reality of the marriage vows, for better – for worse, for richer – for poorer, in sickness and in health, every couple needs the presence of Christ. This is what the grace of the sacrament confers. It is hard enough to cope with the inevitable trials and tribulations of everyday life. No wonder those who don’t understand suffering and sacrifice through the lens of the passion, death, and resurrection of Christ, are tempted to give up too easily. A Christian worldview, an understanding of what marriage really is and what it means to live a life of self-giving love, coupled with a living faith can make all the difference in how a couple lives a joy-filled marriage.
Allison LeDoux is the director of the Respect Life Office and the Office of Marriage and Family for the Diocese of Worcester, MA. Mrs. LeDoux serves as coordinator for the New England region of Diocesan Pro-Life Directors and is a member of the Massachusetts Catholic Conference’s Pro-Life/Pro-Family and Health Care Subcommittees. She received her certification in Catholic Health Care Ethics from the National Catholic Bioethics Center in 2007.Mrs. LeDoux and her husband, John, a permanent deacon, are the parents of eight children.
