What happens when life doesn’t turn out as you expect it to? During the Feast of the Presentation, Joseph and Mary, in great joy, bring Jesus to the temple, and they receive a prophecy that pierces their hearts with a sword. Life comes with many struggles and surprises, oftentimes unexpected and unwelcomed. In reflecting back on the past, it is easier to think upon the varying waves of life and gain insight into meaning of the difficulty. You learned how to have faith through a difficult job transition. You learned the meaning of sorrow when seeing a young family suffer through a loss of a loved one. You learned the value of friendship when asked to move away from home. These difficult moments touch us, change us, and lead us to question many things.
The unexpected change of what we know, concretely and in reality, can very easily cause much unrest. The change can cause us to lose our peace, the inner docility to the will of God. Fr. Jacques Philippe, author of Searching for and Maintaining Peace, states that “the most common reason for which we could lose our sense of peace is a fear caused by certain situations which touch us personally and in which we feel threatened, apprehensions in the face of present or future difficulties.” In order to accept and embrace these challenges, there has to be a foundation on which to stand, an understanding of the fears that can freeze and cripple us. We will approach present or future difficulties differently depending on how much we allow the fear to come into our lives. Coming to a realization that I am not in complete control of the world around me is important. Reaching out and grasping for control will oftentimes lead to anxiety. ‘To preserve peace in the midst of the hazards of human existence, we have only one solution: We must rely on God alone, with total trust in Him”, Philippe continues. Jesus describes in a parable, “I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Without Him you can do nothing. Quite the statement to swallow, especially if we are accustomed to thinking that the way we live our life will work out smoothly if only we work hard enough, perfectly enough and think through every possibility down to the minute detail.
Experiencing conflict will cause character to grow in one way or another. The stretching of oneself opens up new possibilities for virtue to develop and grow. Without the stretching and expanding of one’s capacity to trust, it may never grow any larger. Think of the iconic sculpture of David, created by Michelangelo. In order for the artist to be able to have a beautiful sculpture, one must do damage to the piece of marble by chipping it away, refining it, smoothing it until it is perfectly created. Only with the modifications does the block of stone become a masterpiece. The things that make our life easy and comfortable, are they what we really need in life? Or are we all called to be chipped away at during various points in our life?
God took on a complete human nature in the birth of Jesus. He fully enters into the human experience with all of the peaks and valleys of life. The family of Joseph and Mary become the stronghold and foundation for which Jesus enters the ‘sanctuary of love and cradle of life’ (Redemptor Custos, 1989). All life and all salvation comes by way of the family. However, did the Holy Family experience similar challenges to what we experience in the family?
The story of the Holy Family is the story of life not always turning out the way you expected. It’s the story of a teenage mother who conceived a child before she was married. It’s the story of an anxious father who in the face of scandal contemplated divorcing his soon-to-be wife. It’s the story of a family about to have a child, homeless and searching for a place to give birth, with no money or means to provide what they need. It’s the story of a family not sure of what is going to happen in their lifetime but knowing there will be loss. It’s the story of great suffering in watching your child be crucified at the hands on many. These stories of speak of the hesitation, fears and lack of clear understanding on the part of Joseph and Mary. The Holy Family was human. They experienced human emotions and human thoughts and faced human struggles. They experienced so many of the difficulties that we encounter and many left unsaid and undocumented. They lived an ordinary life and pursued holiness in the small home in Nazareth. Yet, whatever the challenges that they face, though many, they did not define or defeat the Holy Family.
They provide to us an example of trust and of hope, of strength and courage. At the center of their family they have the person of Jesus, God’s gift of unfailing love for the world. A love that will never abandon us in whatever difficulty we may face. Jesus, Mary and Joseph struggled and suffered, like so many of us. This family also knew profound hope. They trusted completely and totally in God and didn’t let their fears hinder the path that God had chosen for them. This doesn’t mean that it was easy, but they show us that we all have to experience closeness to the cross. Through all their hardships, in a time of anxiety and difficulty, persecution and tragedy, they showed us how to be a people of faith, forgiveness and love. “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).
Jessie Tappel, M.S., graduated from the Institute for the Psychological Sciences and now serves as a clinician for Catholic Charities in the Diocese of Arlington as well as the Director for Communications for IPS, a Catholic graduate school for psychology. She is passionate about educating on issues related to Catholicism and Mental Health.
