Thank goodness for the sexual revolution, right? Now women can be free—unfettered by the standards of morality and religion—and truly own their own sexuality. This is the underlying message in the glossy magazines in the grocery store, the television dramas and reality shows, and the “lessons” learned in sexual education classes. But are the lives of women really more free and joyful now that we have birth control and other means of controlling (manipulating) our sexuality?

Cultural norms now dictate that the gynecologist will expect a young woman to have had sex before she ever thinks about getting engaged. I’ve had several friends say that their doctors just flat out did not believe they were virgins in their twenties. When women do get married, the next expectation is that they will spend quality time with their husbands and wait to get pregnant for a “reasonable amount of time.”

And, of course, once a woman starts to have children, it would be embarrassing to make the mistake of not spacing them several years apart, or to “mess up” and have an unintended pregnancy. Clearly we do not live in a society that is now free from expectations – they are just different than they were a century ago.

Approaching three decades of life, I belong to a generation for which the sexual revolution is part of history books – an “anything goes” sexuality is assumed and embraced. In a recent article, Dr. Miriam Grossman, M.D., wrote of the negative consequences of this sexual revolution on the education of children: “Now we have comprehensive sexuality education. It includes discussion of identity, gender, reproductive rights, and discrimination. Children learn that they’re sexual from birth, and that the proper time for sexual activity is when they feel ready. They’re taught that they have rights to pleasure, birth control, and abortion.”

This education results in a culture that emphasizes the desires of individuals over the value of children, over God’s plan for our sexuality, and, ultimately, over the reality that is inscribed in human nature and human biology. After all, with birth control and a tolerant society, who needs to worry about the real meaning of sex and what might actually make us happy for a lifetime, not just for a fleeting moment of pleasure?

Back when Pope Paul VI released Humanae Vitae in 1968, it was condemned by many as repressive, backwards-thinking manifesto from a Church stuck in the past. Yet, reading through it now, it is clear that it is the former Pope who had a vision of the future – some might say an eternal perspective – and who proposed a plan for sexuality that was truly liberating.

What the Pope suggests is that women and men pay attention to the design of our own bodies, our capacity to bring about new life and adhere to the reality that the Lord created. He points out that “husband and wife, through that mutual gift of themselves, which is specific and exclusive to them alone, develop that union of two persons in which they perfect one another, cooperating with God in the generation and rearing of new lives.” He recognizes that the act of sex itself says something – it is by its very nature two people giving themselves to one another. It only makes sense that an exclusive act of self-gift, then, would belong to a marital union, a relationship wherein husband and wife are constantly called to selflessness and generosity.

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Humanae Vitae does not deny that there can be difficulties in marriage and, in particular, challenges when it comes to being open to new life. After all, in a fallen world, there will always be struggles.

For some couples, the hardship will be the inability to conceive. For others, it will be the challenge of an abundant fertility, resulting in many pregnancies that may be at times hard to balance with other responsibilities or desires. Yet, the empty promises of birth control, artificial means of conception, and abortion are not the true cures to these hardships. Indeed, Pope Paul VI could almost be considered a prophet when he suggested that the widespread use of birth control could lead to “marital infidelity and a general lowering of moral standards.” We now live in a society that not only has an incredibly high divorce rate, but also one that has devalued marriage as an institution, encouraging everyone to find sexual satisfaction in whatever way they choose.

History books would have you believe that the sexual revolution brought about true happiness and freedom for women. But these words of Paul VI concerning women and birth control ring all too true:

A man who grows accustomed to the use of contraceptive methods may forget the reverence due to a woman, and, disregarding her physical and emotional equilibrium, reduce her to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires, no longer considering her as his partner whom he should surround with care and affection.

How many women have felt this way? They have given parts of themselves, only to be offered less than a permanent, life-giving love, sanctified by God. Instead, they are told that to be liberated means to separate fleshly pleasures from the idea of commitment or fidelity. All too easily, women accept the shallow substitute of living with someone or even casual hook-ups, perhaps unaware of all that sexual love within the vocation of marriage could really bring to their lives.

Do not believe the secular world when it simplistically labels Humanae Vitae as “that antiquated document where the Pope tries to outlaw birth control.” Take some time to read it again and you’ll find that Pope Paul VI teaches definitively on birth control not because he wants to oppress women, but because he is faithful to the reality that the Creator of Heaven and Earth has inscribed on human persons.

What a privilege it is, he says, that “The transmission of human life is a most serious role in which married people collaborate freely and responsibly with God the Creator.” Cooperating with the Lord in creating new life – sometimes taking into consideration the natural periods of infertility through the use of natural family planning – sounds like a lot more dignified approach to sexuality then worrying what would happen if birth control didn’t work this time.

Rather than relying on contraception, which distorts the procreative and unitive ends of the sexual act, what about relying on the Lord Who gave us life? It is only through Him that spouses will have the strength to build strong families and it is from Him – not false ideals of the sexual revolution – that women draw their dignity and vocations.

Caitlin Bootsma is the editor of Human Life International’s Truth and Charity Forum. Mrs. Bootsma received a Licentiate in Catholic Social Communications at the Pontifical University of the Holy Cross in Rome as well as a Master’s of Systematic Theology from Notre Dame Graduate School of Christendom College. She lives in Richmond, Virginia with her husband and two sons.

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