As we draw closer to the big U.S. Supreme Court decision this year on the legality of same-sex “marriage,” we can expect to see our Facebook timelines, Twitter feeds, email boxes, and television screens flooded with stories about the “marriage equality” movement. The misguided goal of this global movement is to mandate into law equal recognition for relationships that are, in fact, unequal in reality. The law can then be used to silence public opposition and force a cultural acceptance of this farce, as is already taking place in the U.S. and worldwide.
That’s not how same-sex “marriage” activists would define their movement, of course, but it’s no secret that, both from a natural law perspective and pragmatically, marriage between a man and woman is fundamentally different than a romantic same-sex relationship.
Part of this movement is a campaign being waged on the culture to validate all family structures as equally good and desirable. This means, for example, that the traditional union of one man and one woman in marriage who procreate via natural means is equal in every regard to two men in a romantic relationship having children via in vitro fertilization from a surrogate mother.
When openly gay fashion legends Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana pointed out that this notion of “equality” is actually a big lie, the backlash of the “marriage equality” movement was swift and severe.
Dolce and Gabbana stated in a recent interview, “It’s not us who invented the family. … We oppose gay adoptions. The only family is the traditional one. The family is not a fad. In it, there is a supernatural sense of belonging.”
Dolce, who said in a 2013 interview with The Telegraph that he is Catholic, made his case based on natural law. Family is “not a question of religion or social status,” he said, “there are no two ways about it: you are born and there is a father and a mother. Or at least there should be.”
“Life has a natural course; there are things that cannot be modified. The family is one of them,” he added.
The interview led to other openly gay celebrities such as Elton John, Ricky Martin, Ellen DeGeneres, and Perez Hilton calling for a global boycott of Dolce and Gabbana for their “hateful,” “ignorant,” “judgmental,” and “archaic” thinking.
But there are others in the “gay community” against redefining marriage and the family based on fresher thinking. They recognize, not out of deeply held religious beliefs but from their own personal experiences, that a same-sex relationship is fundamentally not equal to marriage between a man and a woman, and that the best family structure for raising children is to have a mother and father in the home
This became apparent in France last year, where citizens organized huge rallies in support of marriage and the traditional family. Many same-sex couples and gay individuals joined the protests in favor of preserving marriage between one man and one woman and to “save kids” from same-sex parenting.
A number of children of same-sex couples have come forward recently against same-sex “marriage” because they recognize the importance of a child having both a mother and father, and how each plays a unique role in the development of the child and the stability of the family.
Robert Oscar Lopez, a man who identifies as bisexual and who was raised by lesbian parents, has likened gay parenting to abuse. “Even the most heroic mother in the world can’t father. So to intentionally deprive any child of her mother or father, except in cases like divorce for grave reasons or the death of a parent, is itself a form of abuse.”
Lopez is one of six children of gay and lesbian parents who penned a letter of support to Dolce and Gabbana for their comments about traditional families. The authors state, in opposing gay parenting, “We want to thank you for giving voice to something that we learned by experience: Every human being has a mother and a father, and to cut either from a child’s life is to rob the child of dignity, humanity, and equality.”
Heather Barwick, who also co-signed the letter, recently wrote at The Federalist:
“Gay marriage doesn’t just redefine marriage, but also parenting. It promotes and normalizes a family structure that necessarily denies us something precious and foundational. It denies us something we need and long for, while at the same time tells us that we don’t need what we naturally crave. That we will be okay. But we’re not. We’re hurting.”
Those arguing to redefine marriage want this word and the relationship it represents to be understood simply as a consenting relationship between any two, or possibly more, adults. The purpose of such an arrangement, however, is ultimately the emotional and sexual fulfillment of the adults. This type of relationship is not ordered toward the procreation and nurturing of children, nor toward their true flourishing.
For Catholics and many other people of faith, marriage is properly understood as a life-long covenant between one man and one woman who are open to bringing new life into the world. The rearing of children, building stable and loving families, is a primary focus of marriage.
Redefining marriage and the family denies children of the mother and father they need and deserve. The movement for “marriage equality” doesn’t stand for true equality under the law, but for forcing a complete reversal of natural and traditional moral norms—which can’t be done with reason and must be done with legal force and personal attacks.
As both Barwick and Lopez point out, and as seen in the case of Dolce and Gabbana, those who are of the “gay community” face the harshest persecution for publicly opposing same-sex “marriage” and parenting. The intolerant “marriage equality” movement would have them silenced and denounced as nothing more than hateful bigots. But their experiences and their testimonies are proof of the big lie of marriage and family “equality.” Their testimonies need to be heard and examined to fully understand the cultural threat we are facing today, and how to effectively respond to preserve and protect marriage and the family.