To The Sexually Impatient

Why wait for sex? If premarital sex isn’t something we seriously should try to avoid our teenager becoming involved in, then why does it have serious life-altering consequences?Why is it that all the sex education and free access to “safe sex” has not reduce teen pregnancies or abortions? Why are there still so many single people, teens and adults taking part in risky behavior?Could it be that as children, we were never catechized as to why sex is only for marriage?

Most people will say “What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom”; in other words “it’s none of your business.” Truth of the matter is it is our business because what happens in your bedroom affects what moral attitudes and values future generations will have in our society.

loveWhat happens in your bedroom also affects your children. For example, a single mother that brings home her boyfriend for over night visits is teaching her children that sex out side marriage is okay. Bringing home different men to sleep in her own bed is taught as acceptable behavior, even though there are serious consequences to that person’s morality and health.

A husband who is having an affair and is not ashamed to hide it from his teenage children is teaching his children that sticking to your marriage vows is not important. He is not only putting your marriage, but his family and their well being at risk, as well as risking the possibility of having a child with another women.

Extramarital sex is immature, irresponsible, risky and selfish behavior. The couple is taking something that is not theirs for them to take in the first place. It also spreads sexual transmitted diseases and encourages the culture of death through the use of contraceptives and abortion.

So what other risks are there? Teenage pregnancies, single parenting (along with, sometimes, post natal depression), children growing up only knowing one biological parent. It then spreads to society in general: children brought up without their father, often rejected by one parent, struggling through school and their education as well as with their behavior and emotional well-being. Governments have to provide funding for single parents raising their children who aren’t always able to provide for themselves. Children who struggle at home often become rebellious teenagers and then the cycle continue.

According to neuropsychologist Dr. Tim Jennings, “When you have premarital sex, your reward circuitry is bonded to them now, and it will be much deeper and hurtful. Oftentimes, in breakups of people who’ve been sexually active, they can’t tolerate the sense of emptiness, so they rush into another relationship. The neuro circuits did not have time to reset, and so they’re impaired in their ability to bond with the next person, and they may become sexually active with them. This is just a repetitive cycle, and there are real impairments in bonding going on.”

Charisma News comments that, “Knowing how these neurochemicals interact and change the brain help us understand why sex is meant to be kept within the boundaries of marriage. You see the overtones here about God’s design for His pure temple. This is another reason why the devil attacks our sexuality so much—because in attacking human sexuality, it actually interferes with human bonding.”

Sex isn’t just about our bodies. It involves our emotions, feelings, our thought and spirituality as well. It involves our whole being. Why would we risk our whole being with someone who has yet to commit their entire self for their entire life with us in front of God and our family and friends? We are then risking our whole being for someone who is less than worthy of receiving our whole being.

Sex used accordingly to God’s plan brings us closer to God. But sex used outside of God’s plan, destroys us and takes us further away from God and His holy will for us. Sex is good; Sex is holy when we save it for marriage. It not only brings us closer to God, it unites us with Him. This is why the Virgin Mary did not need to have sex with Joseph, because she was already united with God. We, on the other hand, are still striving for that holiness. Since sex can either bring us closer or further away from God, destroy our lives and families as well as society, this is the number one way the devil can reach us and pull us closer to him.

Since teenagers have become more promiscuous over the years, we see alarming trends in the rates of abortion, STDs, pregnancy and suicides. Are we really living in a time of sexual freedom? Or has this all been an illusion no one wants to bring light to?

The Catholic Church has always been clear on its teaching when it come to sex.

But I suspect the problem is that most people, like myself, when growing up were told “ No sex before marriage” and that was it. It was never explained why (besides falling pregnant) that sex wasn’t allowed outside of marriage.

Through his Theology of the Body, Pope Saint John Paul II is able to piece together all the teachings along with the what, why and when. He puts together these fabulous teachings that people for many years have felt confused or unclear about. To me, the Theology of the Body is like putting all the pieces of one gigantic jigsaw puzzle together to get the bigger picture.

Christopher West explicates Saint Pope John Paul II’s teaching saying,

The free exchange of consent properly witnessed by the Church establishes the marriage bond. Sexual union consummates it – seals it, completes it, perfects it. Sexual union, then, is where the words of the wedding vows become flesh. The very “language” that God has inscribed in sexual intercourse is the language of the marriage covenant: the free commitment to a union of love that is indissoluble, faithful, and open to children.

alearAllison Brown is the mother of seven beautiful children. In the midst of writing an autobiography, her writing focuses on family life, hopes, dreams and struggles with health. She demonstrates how faith guides her through struggles and hopes that her writing comforts those who are hurting.
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  • mishypic

    Ahhh yes! Thank you for sharing the truth and mentioning TOB. I’m a student of Christophers and I’m pursuing the full certification so I can one day teach TOB to the youth. It’s been exasperating trying to explain TOB to ADULTS my own age, but it’s exactly like you said – We were not properly catechized except to hear “Don’t have sex before marriage…” There was no “Why!” Now that I know, at 37 years old, the eye opening and beautiful teachings of the Catholic Church, I am inspired to tell others. It’s like the best kept secret that shouldn’t have been you know? 🙂 Thanks for writing this!