The Promise of the Pill

Contraception promises “Free love”; “Liberty”; “Its your choice”; “Its your right”; “Its your body”; “Take control”. Imagine the promises of a larger than life, merciful and loving God, then, can make?

The difference though between this pill and God is that this pill comes with strings attached to it: divorce, adultery, unwanted pregnancies, abortion, cancer, unwanted sterilization, etc.

Contracepting against God’s plan for marriage or acting “contrary” to it always comes with consequences. At times it’s a very high price to pay. But society would have us believe that these consequences mean nothing and are just another hurdle to overcome in life, rather than looking deeper into what is the cause of these hurdles that lay before us.

pillIn marriage, we are all called to be open to life. This is part of God’s glorious plan for every husband and wife. But being open to life does not necessarily mean having children. What it means is living your life according to the plans God has for your marriage and being open to those plans, whether it is to have any children or not. God may have other plans for your marriage that you may not be able to see just yet. Being open to life is also about being open to God’s will for us. Listening to His truths, His wants for us, as well as His plans for us—and accepting that.

Being open to life requires hard work every day and with each new day we start over again. Each martial act must be open to life by leaving it ultimately in the hands of God. It’s allowing God to completely take over your life and be willing to go wherever He leads us, with trust and faith in the Lord, knowing that He is the one truth that will ultimately set us free.

Being open to life in your marriage is a road not many are willing to take. Many couples are in fact closed to life and encourage the culture of death by using and depending on contraceptives. If a couple is closed to life, what kind of impact can this than have on their marriage? If a couple is closed of to celebrating new life and instead embraces the opposite, what does this say about their marriage? Their faith?

When a couple is open to life they are called to place complete trust into the hands of God. Despite what obstacles may be thrown their way, their faith and trust in God out weighs any hardship that may cross their paths.

I am a mother of seven children plus three in heaven. My husband and I are open to life despite doctors constantly pressuring me to use contraceptives because of my chronic health problems and my high-risk pregnancies. My last pregnancy, I spent 6 months constantly throwing up and suffering from HG. By 36 weeks I was vomiting blood, had high blood pleasure and out of control diabetes despite being on two different kinds of insulin.

But I am extremely lucky. I placed my sufferings in the hands of God and knew no matter what would happen He would take care of it. And He did. At 37 weeks, I was induced and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. It wasn’t until she was born that a massive knot in the umbilical cord was discovered. We are so incredibly luckily she was born alive and well.

If my husband and I decided to take control of matters and use contraceptives,

sex would than become a lie, a dishonest act that is about self satisfaction on demand and not about giving and receiving each other in complete patience, honesty, trust and faith.  It would not be a martial embrace, in front of God, with the renewal of our wedding vows each time. In fact our “new” body language, would be turning our backs onto God and kicking Him out of the picture.

Leaving it in the hands of God has brought so much joy and many blessings into our home. True joy that we would never thought was possible.

The church teaches that “every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible” is intrinsically evil: Thus the innate language that expresses the total reciprocal self-giving of husband and wife is overlaid, through contraception, by an objectively contradictory language, namely, that of not giving oneself totally to the other” (Catechism, 2370).

This is much different than natural family planning or fertility awareness of which the Church says, “Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality. These methods respect the bodies of the spouses, encourage tenderness between them, and favor the education of an authentic freedom” (Ibid).

Each child is a blessing and a gift from God. To refuse this gift and Blessing from our loving Lord, I would think, would be quiet offensive! Imagine wanting to bless a dear friend of yours with a beautiful gift beyond words. One that would bring such joy and love into your life. And instead of your dear friend embracing you and praising you for this gift, he or she shoves the gift back at you and slams the door in your face!

Honestly how would one feel in this situation?

But where, in this situation you or I may never speak to this so called friend again, God however is waiting for us to call for Him so that He may shower us with his mercy and love.

God wants us to experience an authentic love in our marriage. A love that is giving and selfless. That is patient and willing to sacrifice oneself for the other.

A love that cherishes our spouses whole being and not just the part we chose.

A love that wants the greater good for their spouse.

God wants us to thrive in this marriage embrace and experience the true ecstasy of marital union and, if it is His will, bless this embrace with new life! As John Paul II candidly expressed, “Through gestures and reactions, through the whole … dynamism of tension and enjoyment — whose direct source is the body in its masculinity and femininity, the body in its action and interaction — through all this man, the person, ‘speaks.’ … Precisely on the level of this ‘language of the body’ … man and woman reciprocally express themselves in the fullest and most profound way made possible for them by … their masculinity and femininity” (TOB 123:4).

When a bride and groom come together in the marriage bed their wedding vows become truth, become flesh. They are no longer words any more. The Holy Spirit has bound husband and wife as one till ONLY death can do them apart.

In contrast, using Contraception says to God “ I have Control; I do not have faith or trust in you; my will is more important; I take what I want when I want: I don’t want you in my marriage; I reject your blessings for our marriage.”

To each other the contraceptive say “ I don’t accept your whole being which includes your fertility; I only want a part of what makes who you are; I want you when I want you; I don’t have any respect for you as my wife/husband and as a woman/man made in the image of God; I don’t trust our marriage enough to allow the will of God to intervene.”

Marriage open to life is a beautiful thing. It brings so much joy and strength to the marriage and it also strengthens the faith of the husband and wife who every day are in communion with each other and God!

alearAllison Brown is the mother of seven beautiful children. In the midst of writing an autobiography, her writing focuses on family life, hopes, dreams and struggles with health. She demonstrates how faith guides her through struggles and hopes that her writing comforts those who are hurting.
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